I was lamenting the loss of ‘the old fire’ here the other day, so I thought that I’d take time out to try and blog a little in ‘the old style’; less considered, less from the comfort of home, and little more drunken.

I’m sitting about in a pub waiting about for a mate to turn up, and it seems like the perfect opportunity to knock out a few words. 

Trouble is, what to write about? With the movement into the public service the old love of lambasting political figures has disappeared (to be honest, I’ve actually become extremely cynical about the whole thing), and I’ve promise myself not to become one of those expectant fathers who spend the better part of their time talking about their impending lifestyle change.

So… I’ll leave it at that.



God, I’ve been wanting to write this post for ages. Every Sunday we walk past this damn tub on the way to the Waitangi Park Markets, and it’s been making me increasingly angry.

So I need to ask the question, why in the hell is this thing sitting rusting in our harbour?

I’ve a sneaking suspicion that it is linked somehow to the sentiment people have for the Bucket Fountain. It’s a horrible object that people secretly hate, but pretend they love because it’s been around *forever*, and therefore deserves to be spoken about in slightly reverential tones. And I can accept that. Except… Wellingtonians have only had access to the waterfront for a few years. I do not remember people getting excited about this wreck when I lived here in the 1990s for example. This suggests that the attachment much be recent.

But WHY? Damn this thing is ugly. It’s a great, big, floating, piece, of, crap.

I can also accept the argument that it’s much loved by youngsters. And who wouldn’t love a giant antique boat covered in rusty sharp edges to play on when they’re a wee tacker? 

The trouble is, the youngsters aren’t actually allowed on it. Why? Because it’s some kind of hazard. And I agree. It is a big, barnacle and mussel-covered hazard that should be taken out of the water and put into a park where it can be maintained and have kids climb all over it. That, or dynamited. 

I’m inclined to think the latter would be better.

Now I know that the bleeding-heart historical preservation societies out there would like to keep this massive pile of crap right there in the harbour because, well, because it’s “historical”. Oh, and because it’s a “working boat”. To which I say, “bullshit it’s a working boat. In two years the bastard has barely moved. If it was working it would have had it’s sorry arse performance-managed out the goddamn door and down to Work and Income to slowly molder and fret about the glory days.”

Actually… Looking at the state of the old crapper, this might have already happened. Doesn’t work. Sits in one spot for ages. I covered in warning signs. Never gets out and about. Is obsolete technology and not useful.

You do the math.

So join with me in shouting, SINK THE HIKIT!A! And do Wellington a big favour. If Kerry can’t do anything else more useful than build freaking roads, at least she can make a few pedestrians safer from falling iron.