Brainstormed this one a little with Second Chef, and here, in no particular order, are the Top 5 Five Worst Reasons to have a child.

People do lots of things for stupid reasons; love, jealousy, envy, hatred. But bringing another human being into the world should not be one of them. Nonetheless, stupidity around childbirth seems to abound.

And now that I’m in the position to lecture, I’m going to!


Worst Reason One: “To keep us together.”

I’m sure we’ve all heard this one. A couple is in the death-throes of their relationship, so they make the decision to get pregnant in the expectation that a life-changing, potentially traumatic experience will bring them back together.

There’s only one response to this.


Worst Reason Two: “My biological clock is ticking.”

This is a common one. A woman reaches an age arbitrarily determined by her expectations of life, be it 21, 29, or 35, or 39, and thinks that she’s better get a wiggle one. Mission #1 becomes finding a mate.

Sorry to be so frank here, but anyone who claims this reason isn’t making a decision to have a child, she’s making a decision that her needs should be fulfilled.

I’m expecting this reason to draw the most flak in comments. Let me pre-empt by stating that I know it’s easier for guys (longer fertility), but, read the next reason before you fly off the handle.

Worst Reason Three: “The continuation of the species.”

This one really gets my goat. Someone who uses this reason attempts to justify their decision by regarding their choice to breed as a necessity to ensure the general continuation of mankind. Now, this might have been the case a few generations ago. Maybe 20 generations ago… But there are currently SIX BILLION PEOPLE on the planet. It would take a disaster of epic and/or biblical proportions to threaten humanity.

So how is your wee tacker going to escape that epic fail? Are they named John Connor by any chance?

Worst Reason Four: “My children are my income”

I’ve actually heard this stated as a serious justification for a person’s children. And before I heard it I thought it was some kind of meme propagated by the vast right-wing conspiracy to discredit people on the Domestic Purposes Benefit… I was floored.

And person who stated that, if you’re ever reading this blog, just go out and get a job, you goddamn idiot.

Worst Reason Five: “I don’t want to be the only one of my friends without children”

There are a few iterations of this. But, generally, refer to reason three. I mean… peer pressure as a reason to have children?! What the?!

(Photo lifted from Irish Health)