Once again demonstrating that no matter how terrible a visit to heart surgery gets it might never be your last time, the ticker started playing up again last night. The latest episode started over a month ago, when I was woken with a start by the downstairs neighbour’s burglar alarm. The heart gave a great thump, and was erratic for awhile, but came right.

Then, Second Chef and I were out walking a few weeks back (because fitness is good), and I got home with tightness across the chest and shortness of breath. Otherwise, fine. Despite all this I’d assumed that it was just the weird physiology making itself felt.

Nope. And so now we’re back in the cycle of endless visits to specialists, and not a lot being known about anything.

At least it’s all free, bar the sick days at work.

I had to get out of bed about 2am because an erratic beat was waking me up. By 6.30 it still hadn’t disappeared, so I decided to head into the emergency ward (as you should. If you leave erratic heart beats for too long they can cause blood clots, which are a-whole-nother kettle of fish).

The first problem was trying to catch a bus. I waved at the oncoming driver, ran to catch the #1. I got as far as the door just as he was closing it, and this mtherfather just looked directly at me, and drove off with me rapping on the window. There will be a formal complaint about that.

$15 in a taxi later, and I’m back with my old friends in the emergency ward.

Nothing to report there. I have to complement the high standards of professionalism, despite being given medication I’m apparently allergic to, and having to wait four hours for it to leave my system. 

I then get sedated, and given the low-voltage electric paddles.

A hour after that, I actually catch a bus, and come home to chill out.

Now I’m wondering what more adventures there are to be had. Tell you what, if they’re pussy-footing around about how/when to fix this? I am immediately looking for work in Melbourne.