Frankly, all this talk of Turducken is just plain pissing me off. Those damn Cajuns and their crazy food… This is after all the same people who put chicken, seafood and pork into their rice.

Following hard on the heels of this obsession with creating the avian equivalent of a haggis are these wankers (hat tip: Mr Green). Apparently, stuffing the breasts of dozens of birds into the cavity of another, bigger bird is all the rage among the toffs. And they’d have to be toffs. Anyone who’s anyone knows that the thighs are where all the goodness is.

Anyhow. Enough ranty-ranty.

The problem is that these people simply aren’t thinking big enough. If you really want to create a gourmet dish not to be matched then you need to start talking about protected game. Now that’s thinking big.

So… I got to thinking. You want a big meal? Something to seriously impress the Whippington-Smythes? Then stuff a freaking elephant. With a Hippo. With a Zebra. With a Hyena. With a Baboon. With a Springbok. With a Sloth. With a Meercat (maybe two). And then stuff the Meercat with a baby Lion. Oh, and stuff the baby Lion with a Mars bar and deepfry the whole shebang.

Other suggestions are welcomed.