Sigh.

I mentioned in a comment thread somewhere that I once saw a pirate film where the good guys won using dance. Unsurprisingly, the film was called The Dancing Pirate. Apparently you can download the bittorrent and watch it.

Do it, and save yourself a few dollars.

AND under no circumstances go to the Hoyts in Manners Mall. No heating in the main theatre. Yup. You read that right. No heating. Froze our frickin’ backsides off. Had to come home and have a warm shower to get the feeling back in my extremities. It was a bloody disgrace.

But, I shouldn’t be too hard on the film. The cold was a major distraction, but all in all, yet another blockbuster from Disney.

The story appears to centre on the crew rescuing Jack Sparrow from Davy Jone’s locker. They have to get some magic stuff together to go to the edge of the world and then try to make their way back. Then they get to fight the evil guys who would normally appear to be good guys (“the Company”). There are big fight scenes, rousing speeches, great costumes, fantastic special effects.

But some of the actors are just so freaking annoying it’s hard to get excited about the film. POTC 2 was truly turgid, so it’s good to see that they put in a bit more effort, but there’s only so much you can do with Keira Knightley. Sweet jesus she’s useless. Orlando is just kind of limp, and Depp just can’t save it.

At least he can go on to do some decent films now this stuff is behind him.

All that said, get along an see it on tight-arse Tuesday. OR! Take a duvet to the Hoyts… and maybe a hot water bottle.

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