Let me start by stating that I’m not about to dispense a bunch of helpful advice to people. This is because the very first thing I learned is that earnest, advice-giving parents are basically a pain in the arse… Every kid is different, so any advice is likely to be either useless or inappropriate, and you just need to muddle along doing the best you can.- The next thing is that you soon get used to the smell of poo. The first few solid-food goes had the stomach turning, but now I know to just not breathe too deep, and get the offending article the hell out the way ASAP. We’re lucky enough to be using reusable nappies, so you just scoop the night-soil up in the handy liner thingy and flush that bad boy away before it makes the apartment unliveable.
- Feeding kids is probably the most fun ever. The little guy sure does love eating. The other day we were sitting in the bit of Manners Mall they’re not demolishing (and to hell with the rest of it, a haven for stupid emos – and little else), and some crazy people were busy yelling at each other about who-knows-what. But there’s me and Chef Du Plunge, a little island of calm, me feeding him tiny bits of the crust off a bacon and egg pie. He loved it. He kind of opens his mouth as wide as humanly possible and breathes in any and all nibbles that hove into view. We’re about 8 weeks away from Yum Char again… I cannot freaking wait.
- Nothing any of the books tell you, books being the best and most reliable assistance round here – even better than grandma – will prepare you for a 12kg 7 -month old who already has half a dozen teeth. Yup, half a dozen, 4 up top, 2 down low. We’re expecting his voice to change at around age 9.
- Kids just plain love their dads to bits. There a special place for mum, but having occasion to take Chef Du Plunge out to Te Papa at the weekend and observe a lot of other families? Dads rock! There’s something about the way kids look at them that is heart-warming in the extreme.
- Even taking care of one tacker is exhausting. I cannot imagine how tiring a whole bassle of kids must be. I can pretend to be working and have a little sleep at my desk. Housewives though? No such luck. Second Chef was talking to an old friend today, who is the father of NINE children. W.T.F! There’s some big love for you.
- Believe it or not, playing boo can be tiresome after awhile. For all concerned.
- Book your foetus into childcare as soon as you’re aware of them. We booked Chef Du Plunge in when he was 1 week in utero, and we only got something a week or two ago.
- Being a parent makes me understand my own family much, much more. Once upon a time they taught me all the things I’m now teaching, and loved me just as much.
- Life is fleeting, dangerous, and a gift. You have to love your kids from the very get-go, because they can be taken by fate at any minute. If you have time, use it to spend with them. In future you won’t remember what it was you could have otherwise being doing, but if the time is lost, you’ll always regret it.
3 July, 2009
3 July, 2009 at 10:32 pm
Reading Dear Zoo 10 times in a row is deeply tedious for the parent, but fascinating for the infant.
3 July, 2009 at 11:05 pm
Every kid is different, so any advice is likely to be either useless or inappropriate, and you just need to muddle along doing the best you can.
Oh, I don’t know about that actually. Unsolicited advice (unless it’s me giving it of course) can be a thing of annoyance, but if it’s the parent-to-be soliciting it, that can be pretty useful. Finding oneself a friend or two who has been there and picking their brains is not a bad thing.
4 July, 2009 at 10:27 am
Actually now that I think of it that reminds me of these friends of ours who sat us down and asked to tell them everything about how we handled pregnancy and birth and the choices we made and then went on to do the exact opposite in every single regard. We tried our best not to feel slighted by that, but I can’t say we entirely succeeded!
4 July, 2009 at 1:08 am
Giovanni is right. A friend contacted me recently about tips for travelling long distance with young children, in cars. I haz some. I also asked my girls, who had some too.
Sometimes it can be very reassuring to have an older friend (as in, their children are older) to talk to. When our eldest lost all interest in food at around about age 2.5, I called my older friend, who said, “Don’t worry. She’ll start eating again when she’s five.” And she did.
4 July, 2009 at 4:41 am
i’m wondering why it is we never tried the liners… i think we figured the breastfed poos were nothing to get worked up about and by the time the real deal came along, we’d forgotten all about them.
4 July, 2009 at 8:16 am
the liners make a **huge** difference. it means that the worst you have to deal with when washing is doing the occasional very hot wash.
4 July, 2009 at 8:20 am
i’m right there on dishing out solicited advice. but you can target it to the person asking, which seems to be much more interesting for them than what could otherwise be characterised as some sort of bizarre ritual of parental self-affirmation.
i.e. “let me tell **everyone* what a great parent i am because i use [insert useful parental aid]
4 July, 2009 at 11:29 am
GREAT post Che. Really loved it. Your boy is a kilo heavier than my 2 year old by the way