Well, what with babies waking up so early and all it’s probably a good thing I’ve given up drinking but for the very occasional beer. Man… I haven’t slept past 6.30am for longer than I can remember. Strangely, part of that is spending much of last year starting work at 8am! So I was well prepared for the transition. Likewise the oft-whinged-about heart trouble meant that before my operation I rarely slept a full night for about 18months, so exhaustion was pretty much par for the course.
All that said, am a little bit tired.
As I may have mentioned, Sunday is Father-Son Day, when Chef Du Plunge and I head out into the city to get things done. There are often trips to Mitre10, occasional trips to Moore Wilsons, but usually a trip to somewhere for “Dad to find coffee”.
The upside is that I’m very fond of coffee. The other upside is that CDP absolutely despises his pram. I think he sees it lurking in the living room and he seems to bear a deep and abiding suspicion of it. Yes… the evil pram… tool of his arch-enemy… the midday nap.
The truth of the matter is that I want him awake while we’re out and about, and sleeping when he’s supposed to be, which gives me time to get stuff done. Consequently we’ve been using a front-pack to cart the wee man about. It’s a good one that can support a child up to 12kg, and we’ll need every gram of space in it. The other reason he seems to hate the pram is that it’s constricting. CDP is a bit of a free spirit, and doesn’t like being locked into things; car-seats included. Alternately it could be because he’s twice the size of an infant his age – as big as your average 7-month old…
So. No pram. Must use front-pack. But this allows me to wander into a shop as small as Simply Paris on Cuba St, chat to the barista, “Yes yes, extremely cute beby. One short black coffee and the ham/cheese croissant please. Merci”, then stand outside at the “leaner” tables and sip my coffee, whilst also nibbling a pastry.
CDP coos at passersby, and occasionally waves his arms, all in the safety and warmth of “The Elite“, and never complaining about my leaving pastry crumbs on his noggin.
At around 9.40 I wander home, have him changed out of his nappy, and into bed by 10am. Where he cries until he falls asleep.
Pretty cruisy right?
Well, right. It is cruisy. Which is why I wonder about two things. Why in hell you’d live in the suburbs with a small child like CDP. Wandering around the block to amuse a bored baby just makes for a more bored Dad. The other thing is why some people see this as a constraint on their freedom?
It’s a great cliche that guys see fatherhood as “the loss of their freedom”.
But the freedom to do what? Sink booze? Play Wii? Not get action and complain about being single?
Sure a change of lifestyle is necessary when you swap to parenting, but it’s hardly all hard graft. Most blokes I know have had to give up something, but… so what? When you have that little blighter smiling and you in the morning because they’re so damn happy to see you, it’s worth every video game I should have grown out of 10 years ago.
16 March, 2009 at 8:42 am
See, I was a little sceptical about your no daddy blogging plan because bloggers blog about what they know and for a time after you’re landed with a baby that’s pretty much all you know. So I’m glad you relented.
In terms of the “loss of one’s freedom”, I think it’s the relentlessness of it that can get you. Having little ones is (or at least can be) a blast, but if doing the same pleasurable thing all the time was the thing, we’d all be fornicating 24/7. And having children prevents you from doing other things that occasionally you might feel like doing, especially if you don’t have family around that can relieve you of the kids for the night or (gasp!) the whole weekend. Justine and I haven’t hit the town on a whim for seven and a half years. Hell, we’ve barely done anything on a whim that wasn’t a family activity. That kind of sucks, much as we love our children and wouldn’t trade them for the world.
(I’m kidding, of course: we’re always open to offers.)
16 March, 2009 at 9:28 am
yup. i relented. my one proviso is that i won’t blog about CDP himself, but about his effect on us.
maybe.
it could be that he’s too cute not to talk about.
16 March, 2009 at 9:41 am
oh, and i have another blog lined up about the “can’t go out and party meme”.
all in due course.
16 March, 2009 at 12:19 pm
On missing your freedom, I sometimes get a pang when leaving work on a sunny Friday that I’d love to just go sit in a garden bar for a few hours, but that’s about it, really. I’ve had my fair share of that kind of carry-on, and I’m compensated in so many other ways. When I *do* get a night out, I’m very excited about it, and that makes it better. Doesn’t stop me from yawning at about 8.00pm, but it’s still good.
Still on suburb-dwellers(!). I quite like a long walk, it’s all (light) exercise, and makes for good thinking time. We’re lucky enough to have a lovely beach just down the road to explore – that’s only going to get more fun as the wee chap grows up.
16 March, 2009 at 12:25 pm
It’s a pleasure to read, I’m glad you relented. That said, I do respect your decision not to blog about CDP himself, or publish photos.
16 March, 2009 at 12:52 pm
@richard & giovanni (but not ignoring george).
strange, innit? it seems like the need to head out is variable.
i’n thinking that i’ve reached a stage where i’m all but partied out. for starters it would be impossible to relive some of those great times now i’m closer to 40, but otherwise, i think i’ve just moved into a new phase where hangovers are more of a hassle than ever.
16 March, 2009 at 12:53 pm
I love seeing you out and about with the CDP, just doing your thing! And indeed you were out and partying at Hadyn’s birthday.
Parents who struggle with pushchairs (that they’ve probably brought over in their cars) never really seem to be as relaxed or having as much as enjoyment as you and the li’l bloke.
16 March, 2009 at 1:02 pm
What Giovanni said. I must say that with my first baby things didn’t change too much, kept working and just went to things with the baby. I was never much of a party person so that wasn’t an issue.
That all changed with 2 kids (and compounded with 3). Although that was when I discarded the pram and wore them everwhere with various slings and frontpacks. Going anywhere now is an expedition, not just stepping out the door.
16 March, 2009 at 2:12 pm
Prams are great. Not the great big three wheeler ones, but a wee umbrella stoller is really handy if you’re popping into town. Lots of space to put your stuff, you see. That’s why you still see some people schlepping the kids around in them at age 3 – the parents are usd to having a small shopping trolley on hand, and can’t bear to cut the cord.
We found that our first child didn’t actually affect our social schedule much for the first 6 months or so. When they’re wee you can just take them out to a noisy party and put them in a corner or an upstairs bedroom or something. It’s when they get a bit bigger than that, and start thinking that noise == no sleep, and are able to do something about it, that it all gets tricky, I find.
I find that the main freedom I’ve lost that I actually miss is the ability to take off for all of Sunday morning on a bike ride. And even that’s not quite gone, if we can sort out the babysitting right.
City vs suburbs: to each their own. Surely the problem is in feeling that you _have_ to make one choice over another? Anyway, one advantage of our suburb is that there’s a lot of young families: my oldest daughter starts school today, and our neighbours on both sides have daughters aged within 3 months of her who are attending the same school. I must get some kind of walking crocodile going.
17 March, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Age and stage thing, I reckon. Small babies are remarkably portable, and often very obliging in the matter of going out to cafes and the like. Older children, like two year olds… not so much. But that’s when you start going to cafes with play areas – Clarkes at the library should suit you nicely. Or in the ‘burb of ‘burbs, Karori, the library, which has some good sofas and a box of toys pour les enfants.
I’ve been to about one film a year, excluding children’s films, for the last nine years or so. Gets expensive if you need to pay for babysitting as well. Yes, yes, arrange things with family, get into a babysitting club, whatever – it still takes organisation i.e. no going to a movie on a whim.
17 March, 2009 at 1:08 pm
I’ve been to about one film a year, excluding children’s films, for the last nine years or so.
Yeah, same here. I went to see Waltz with Bashir early in the year with a friend and was lamenting to him the fact that at the movies these days I only get to see animated features. At which point he remarked that the film we were about to see was also animated. Drat!
17 March, 2009 at 1:11 pm
Its the lack of spontaneity that gets me. Everything is a mission. I did get to Rain of the Children last year though.
I have a day off every week or so now which lets me get to exhibitions and stuff
17 March, 2009 at 1:12 pm
I did get to Rain of the Children last year though.
The irony!