Well, got my first chance to read the much maligned Metro article by Mr. D. Christie the other day. And, hasn’t he got a wee bee in his bonnet about Wellington.
I think one of the things about Wellington is that if you’re pining for a big town, then this place is absolutely never going to fill that gap. Let’s face it, Wellington is not a world-class city. But, what irks me about Damian’s article is… neither is Auckland.
When it all boils down to it, if what you’re seeking from life is an all-banging, all-party lifestyle, then what in the hell are you doing in New Zealand? I love the place, but basically all that happens here is breeding and petty politics. No offence to all the breeders and petty politicians intended… So criticising Wellington for not being something that anywhere in New Zealand is not just seems a little foolish.
Worse, criticising it for it’s lack of facile, big-titted bimbos and over-moussed himbo celebs is just laughable. I mean… who gives a damn about Nicky Watson? Celebrity generates nothing but sycophancy. And sycophants are useless, regardless of whether they’re hanging off a wannabe international model or an MP for an entire nation smaller than most capital cities.
Wellington is a village, and it’s part of the place’s charm. You know that everyone walks everywhere because the place is so small, and if you’re unfortunate enough to be a sly dog and get caught, then everybody will know about it. But, there are plenty of people out there who get away with all sorts of indiscretions. So maybe what D. needs is to be a a little sneakier about who and where he’s shagging? Take the back streets bro, only the tourists, the loonies and the lonely walk down Lambton Quay.
This time of year a few years back I was living in a decent city. It has art, culture, music, celebs, history, majesty, anonymity, and all those things D. seems to be craving. But my life was very different. Now, assuming that I was on a comparable payscale, there is no way I could be leading the life I lead here in Wellington. I had to give up all the glamorous bullshit you associate with the big smoke when I came here, but I think it was a fair trade off.
Here in Wellington I live in a well-appointed but not ostentatious two-bedroom apartment in the very centre of the city, and pay not much more than friends in three bedroom houses in the burbs. I can walk to any of 5 separate cinemas. I have my choice of any of many dozen bars, restaurants, cafes, bistro, cheap and cheerfuls, franchise takeaways, pubs and pool halls. I have a well-stocked library 5 minutes away. There are three supermarkets and two weekend vege markets. There is every kind of retail (though the selection is often ordinary). There are at least three video stores within easy reach. There is theatre and art, though not always so great. There is live music almost every day of the week. I sold the liability that used to be my car, and I walk to work.
But if I bang someone other that the missus, everyone will know about it. And frankly I think I can live without the stress and drama of either of those two things.
And why will everyone know about it? Because I choose to mix with as wide a range of people as possible. That’s the other great thing about Wellington. In many big cities you’re pretty much confined to your clique, or social station. Here I can be mixing with sports types one day, geeks the next. I can be rubbing shoulders with self-important parliamentary types, then find myself deep in conversation with intellectuals. It’s part of the beauty of the place. If all you’re interested in is schmoozing advertising execs, then you’re confining your gene pool unnecessarily.
My final word has to be about the sideline industry here. Everyone has something other than their main job going on. I used to write for Public Address. Now I write for four separate blogs, help make a sports podcast, have a play on the boil for next years Fringe Fest, help out with other peoples film projects when I can, keep my work-life ticking over, and find a little time for myself every now and then.
How do I manage all that? Well, no kids, but also because I ditched the “making money makes me a better person ethos” that permeates Auckland like a god-awful stink.
And I’m damn happy about it. Maybe next year I’ll move back to Melbourne. Just maybe. We’ll have to see.
14 August, 2007 at 7:14 pm
“Well, you could, if it wasn’t raining while sub-zero, gale-force winds belt you into submission”
Thing.. word… phrase… tip of my tongue… oh yes: Harden the f@ck up, jaffa!
I live in Sydney, which is 4 times the size of Auckland and about 10 times as pretentious, with even more umbrellas, so I think I can say from a position of strength that he’s just jealous because Lord of the Rings wasn’t filmed in Auckland. Although he has a point about Te Papa.
Tempted to move back to Dunedin, myself. Yer man’s head would probably freeze and snap off if he ever ventured that far south.
14 August, 2007 at 8:38 pm
Nice …
How do I manage all that? Well, no kids … – *sigh*, I love ‘em but I heard that loud and clear
14 August, 2007 at 11:07 pm
Pretty good right of reply to a rather dull diatribe from D. You would hope that if someone finds someplace so completely distasteful – they would have the sense to leave. Alas, Wellington *is* small and the chances of bumping into him and hearing this in person is high. Yawn.
15 August, 2007 at 7:33 am
Nicely put. I read the Metro piece a few weeks ago, at a magazine stand in Auckland Airport, and all I could think was, get over it!
But four blogs!! Really?
15 August, 2007 at 8:16 am
in damians defence, it has the ring of a puff piece, and a man’s gotta man a living. but…
and yeah. four blogs. i link to them all thru this one though.
15 August, 2007 at 10:18 am
Ah, you’ve shamed me into it:
http://wellurban.blogspot.com/2007/08/jafa-wars.html
15 August, 2007 at 10:49 am
Well I moved to Welly recently, after living in a “real city” overseas. I am now officially an ex-Aucklander. This argument is always such a yawn. I think that Metro article helps the cause, the cause being stopping too many people from moving here.
Not needing a car and a city centre that actually resembles a city centre where two of the major reasons that I moved here.
15 August, 2007 at 11:16 am
were not where
sigh
15 August, 2007 at 12:05 pm
In the 12, 13 years Ive known him, Damian Christie has never been known to not make an unsufferable twat of himself at every possible opportunity.
He reads Sunday Star Times. That in itself should tell you enough about him to render his “opinion” piece — based mostly on the opinions of other idiots — worthless and inconsequential.
1. The weather sucks? The weather sucks in AK, too, and sucks worse. It always too hot, humid as fuck, or a freezing wind is blowing off one of the harbours bringing the next rainstorm. And that happens 5 to 10 times a day.
2. It takes forever to get down Cuba St? Don’t stop and talk to everyone, you vapid bore.
3. You see your date’s ex in a bar? Nod and smile politely, like a fucking adult.
4. Courtenay Place is overrun with drunk fools at night? And uh.. it’s any BETTER in a big city? Bridge and tunnel, bridge and tunnel…
5. Gemma Gracewood appears to be the only person in Wellington who has ever had trouble getting a crowd of “somebodies” to an event.
6. Bureaurocrats turn up at nine and go away at five, leaving important work unfinished? Uh, no. They don’t. Dick.
7. Fly My Pretties suck? Yes, they do. So what. So do The Bleeders, Elemeno P, and innumerable other AK bands.
and so on, and so on, and so on…
(posted on WellUrban, too)
15 August, 2007 at 1:06 pm
ouch. steady on the hating there people.
15 August, 2007 at 1:34 pm
Now now, Che, are you trying to imply that the drinks-after-worker is hateful?
15 August, 2007 at 2:29 pm
I have recently moved up to Auckland from welly to be with my girlfriend, I rather like it up here.
But I do find it odd that some peoples feeling of self worth is tied up in where they live and other peoples opinion thereof.
15 August, 2007 at 3:04 pm
The funny thing is the “anti-Auckland” article he was responding to was, well, anything but anti.
I remember being told 16 years ago, literally as an FOB, by Aucklanders what a hell hole Wellington was and never to consider setting a foot here. It’s biggest sin was the natives pronouncing its name Wollington.
That whole initial Auckland experience very nearly sent me packing. The racism and parochialism was…unexpected and tacky. Luckily for me, my wallet and lack of travel arrangements made a quick departure impossible. I’m still in NZ and very grateful for that. Nowadays I cannot imagine a where I would rather live and work.
I have since made friends with Auckland. No doubt Auckland sighs with relief at the news.
16 August, 2007 at 9:37 am
Your favourite city sucks.
16 August, 2007 at 12:33 pm
i think, someone needs a hug.
17 August, 2007 at 5:25 pm
Er, actually, Christchurch became New Zealand’s biggest city when it absorbed Bank’s Peninsula DC. And have you noticed how Christchurch initiatives only attract national media attention when they are copied by Auckland? Walking school buses, 40 kmh school speed limits, etc, etc.
Here’s an argument that always silences JAFAs. The biggest difference between Auckland and Christchurch is that Auckland has a volcano in it’s harbour whereas Christchurch has a harbour in it’s volcano.
Aucklander’s hate it when another city has something bigger than theirs.
Oh, and didn’t take a royal enquiry to get CCC and BPDC to join together.
18 August, 2007 at 5:39 pm
It wsn’t until I moved to Wellington that I had it pointed out to me that Aucklanders hate the rest of NZ. The further south I’ve been the more I’ve told that Aucklanders have it in for the rest of the country are jealous of this and sensitive about that blah blah blah.
Che’s outlined the things that make Wellington fun for the people living in and around the central city (although don’t you walk along Lambton Quay to work Che?). Were I living outside the central city I’d probably choose Auckland though; notwithstanding housing being too expensive and not as much in the way of work for me. Simply there’s more to do if you’re not focussing on the central city and the weather doesn’t suck. Christchurch on the other hand does have cheaper houses, is closer to the snow and umm.. the RNZAF museum at Wigram is cool.
Frankly Kevyn, I doubt many Aucklanders care that the arbitary political boundary called the CCC has more people in it or administers covers a larger than that of the ACC. I doubt the volcano statement will silence anyone that’s actually been to Lyttelton, not too many places like St Heliers around there. Actually being a JAFA I just proved that statement wrong with that response I guess.
19 August, 2007 at 7:27 am
nah, walk along the waterfront if i can. i take lambton quay if it’s hosing down. which has only been half a dozen times(?) this year.
27 August, 2007 at 11:54 am
Oh looky here, there’s a whole discussion thing going on about my article. Fantastic.
First of all, drinks-after-worker aka Stephen Clover aka whatever you want to call yourself, I don’t quite know where you get the line “In the 12, 13 years Ive known him”.
After making a phone call, I found out that you know someone I know, but aside from possibly meeting you at a party a decade or so ago, I don’t think can claim to know me at all, buddy, much as you’d like to. It obviously gives you quite the thrill to say you’ve known me for years and you think I’m a twat. Sorry to disappoint. I might be a twat, sure, but you don’t know me, and never have.
I’ve obviously had some serious effect on you though, given the on-line string of bile you’ve directed at me over the years. Did I not give you a cuddle when we met in the early 90s or something? Sorry about that, buddy.
_____________________
As to the Wellington article, glad you all read it. I’ve had a huge amount of feedback, much of it positive, including from a number of Wellingtonians. And as much as the article I was responding to wasn’t that anti-Auckland, nor was mine particularly anti-Wellington. Kudos to those who spotted that particular fact.
Instead, I interviewed two big fans of Wellington (Gemma and Phil) about their experiences here.
Guess what, it IS really small and you bump into people all the time and that tends to mean everyone looks over their shoulder before saying anything about anyone. And no, you can’t slut around without it biting you on the arse.
Guess what, the weather is shit. The guy from NIWA said it, ergo it’s a scientific fact.
Guess what, some Wellingtonians do bang on about how the city has a monopoly on NZ culture and the arts. Maybe I’ve met more than my fair share of them.
But for anyone who actually read the article, rather than simply scanning for points to spit back at, I tried to make the point that there are some really good things about Wellington, some of which have been repeated in the comments above. There are a number of ways in which I, the JAFA, think Wellington superior to Auckland, and I outlined them in the article.
And yes, perhaps I should just fuck back off to Auckland or somewhere bigger, and I’m planning to quite soon (yay, says Stephen, I can finally burn that effigy I’ve been working on since the 90s).
Until then I’m here for my job, and I’m having a good time thank you very much.
28 August, 2007 at 6:52 am
Last time I flew back into Wellington from a work trip, I arrived aournd 10pm at night, stepped out of the terminal, and was assaulted by the wind. It positively shouted, “WELCOME TO WELLINGTON AND DON’T FORGET YOU ARE HERE!”
Wellington is a great town, and the weather really, really sucks.
29 August, 2007 at 9:28 am
Aw man, all I could manage was one snippy comment from someone who knows someone I once wrote about.
29 August, 2007 at 10:54 am
Just some stats, fwiw:
words in article: 2,800
good things about wellington mentioned:
-bar crawling is easy
-the south coast
-the south coast is very accessible
-cozy pubs
things mentioned which might be regarded as good:
-it’s easy to meet people
words saying good or neutral things about wellington: approx 150 (5%of article)
things phil reed sez he likes about wellington: (0)
things phil reed mentioned about wellington which could be construed as good: (1)
-public sector 9-to-5ism
things gemma gracewood sez she likes about wellington (0)
hmmmmmm…..
29 August, 2007 at 7:10 pm
Woohoo! Your first flame session Che.
29 August, 2007 at 7:31 pm
i’m very proud.
31 August, 2007 at 2:52 pm
Can you not choose a venue for this war and stick to it Stephen? Please don’t make me read allll the Wellington blogs.
Posted from Wellingtonista then:
…
As for the fact you actually went and _statistically analysed_ my article…! Christ dude, you reallllllllly need to get out a little more. First writing letters to the Capital Times – I don’t know anyone who even READS that, let alone writes letters – and now conducting statistical analysis of a humour (my words, not yours, clearly) piece from a magazine!
I don’t want to labour the point, but is there really any way to explain this kind of behaviour without using the words “bitter” and/or “sad”? Why don’t you go and buy a pet and mistreat it or something, find SOME way to release all that pent up aggression before it you have a stroke or something…
31 August, 2007 at 3:45 pm
“I don’t know anyone who even READS that, let alone writes letters”
Hey, isn’t there a whole blog dedicated to the letters to the Capital Times?
31 August, 2007 at 3:52 pm
BTW Damian, we’re transcribing your piece backwards & looking for demonic messages.
1 September, 2007 at 7:56 pm
Backwards? I was reading it sideways… and looking for messages from Santa.